I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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