She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
