Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I look better un-naked...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just gift wrapped bread.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
