today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I want a musical about memes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
