Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
