I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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