I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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