o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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