the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
