so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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