Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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