Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
