No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
