so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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