Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
