He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
