just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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