You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
