are you still at the devil's house?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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