who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
