so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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