Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
