you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
