Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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