Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
