Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
