he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
