Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
