I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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