Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
