i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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