P.S. I can't hear my feet
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
