The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
