Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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