so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
