It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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