i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
