wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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