His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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