Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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