Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
