I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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