Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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