i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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