I need help removing her.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
