you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
