Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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