Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
