even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
