i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
